According to Justice Québec: “Negotiation is the basis of all dispute prevention and resolution methods. It is based on voluntary communication and discussion between two or more people to resolve disputes.”
Even if many people think that negotiation is reserved for diplomats on the international scene, you know that negotiating is at the heart of your professional activities and even personal activities within your own family.
In these back-and-forth negotiations, you dance, taking one step in front, then another behind. No matter how far apart your perspectives are, interdependent, you and the other have to balance the scales. Possibly with compromises and accommodations, you and the other person are aiming for a victory that will see you win, each respecting your values and your healthy relationship with each other.
The common goal of resolving the conflict with a consensus of behaviors must dominate. Here are the five steps of a cooperative negotiation that will enable you to move from adversary to partner.
First, analyze your desired outcome. Detail your vision of a successful negotiation. List the benefits for you, your company and your employees. Also list the disadvantages of not realizing or acquiring. Validate the resources available and the limits you must respect. Imagine and inform yourself about possible scenarios, their repercussions and setbacks.
Beyond your vision, you also need to know your rival’s reality: his needs, issues, concerns, potential gains and losses, as well as his personality. Do your homework by searching the company’s website, LinkedIn profile and asking around.
Then, the most important part of your preparation is to start linking each of your respective objectives in search of a common solution. As you negotiate, you’ll come up with new options.
As you do with your other collaborations, identify the people who have the power to accept or reject what you propose. Their presence is essential. Invite them and assign a date or dates according to their availability. Find out about their roles and powers.
With these decision-makers, choose the most effective means of communication. Will you negotiate in person, over the phone or by videoconference? If you go to them, you’re announcing that you’re serious. You’ll also have the advantage of observing their culture in action. If they come to you, you’ll be at home, “confo” in your office. At the restaurant, the ground will be neutral.
Inspired by your respective objectives, detail the necessary steps in an agenda or negotiation calendar.
Discuss how you will formalize the agreement: verbally, by e-mail, by contract, etc.
Base the negotiation process on trusting relationships. First recognize that you need to gain the other person’s trust. The most effective way is to be respectful of the other person, demonstrating transparency and authenticity. Maintain each other’s dignity. Don’t minimize it, don’t ridicule it.
In negotiation, your responsibility is not to convince, but to create agreement. You want to get along with the other person. Both sides have to lose to win.
To ensure a fair and respectful negotiation, announce this intention before you start. Setting out this brief code of ethics will give the desired decorum to your exchange.
A few well-known principles apply to a successful negotiation strategy:
Good negotiation is about asking and refusing clearly and calmly, without finger-pointing, resentment, revenge or intimidation. Acknowledging both poles, yours and theirs, set out your intention from an empathetic perspective. Ask with positive, inclusive language.
Alternatively, let the other person express his or her intention without interruption.
Then, depending on the answer, ask questions with curiosity, without confrontation. You’re looking for information to help you understand.
Talk less, listen more and observe without judgment. This unemotional gathering of information enables the design of solutions that benefit both parties.
Tame the silence too. Take a breath. Take notes. These techniques enable you to stay in the present moment, focused on a win-win creative intention.
Focus on your strengths, to make up for their weaknesses.
Once you’ve all agreed, don’t rush to finish. To avoid surprises or having to renegotiate, it’s imperative to summarize the agreement. Make it official out loud. In the concluding action, list the conditions. Eye-to-eye, one point at a time, validate with the other. “Are you happy with this arrangement? Is there anything else we need to consider?” The list of what is negotiated and approved can be made up of simple bullet points. As soon as both parties are in agreement, you’re ready to sign the contract.
Thank the other. Tell him what you appreciated: his straightforwardness, his patience, his honesty and so on. Occasionally, depending on the outcome of the negotiation and especially on the reaction of the other party, it may be appropriate to celebrate. At such a party, also invite all the employees who contributed to the success of the negotiation in the background.
Finally, leave it to the experts to formalize the document.
Since you often negotiate with the same people, once the negotiation is over and the agreement sealed, demonstrate integrity and honesty. Honor your words and actions. The business world is a small one, and failure to follow these rules could haunt your reputation and give you a bad start in future negotiations.
Are you in a sticky situation? This blog is at your service. Write to me at julie@julieblaiscomeau.com. Your situation may enlighten other readers.
Published Reference Ordre des conseillers en ressources humaines du Québec October, 2020 (c) Julie Blais Comeau
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julie@julieblaiscomeau.com
I’m Julie Blais Comeau, Canada’s bilingual etiquette specialist. My mission is simple: to give you the know-how to shine positively at work and in the community.
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